Who'd have thought..

Valentine's Day... not always the most celebrated holiday among singletons. But this year my friend/roommate Emily has changed my view of this most lovely day.
Sure it may be raining, grey and gloomy outside, but today has been nothing short of a fantastic reminder of how much love I have in my life. Even the tree outside my window is a BRIGHT Valentine-y pink!
Today is Emily's favorite day of the year I'd dare say... She's been looking forward to it for weeks now. At first I questioned why exactly, I've never been a fan.. for years this has been a holiday that has served as a reminder of what some of us DON'T have.
This year however (I think that Emily is rubbing off on me..) has been different. I've been able to see this day as an opportunity to be thankful for all the love I have in my life. I have a great family, a kick ass sister who'd I'd be lost without (what an incredible friend, wife and mother she is!!), a brother in-law who is more brother than in-law, Shelby, who has been my fiercest defender, and a whole "chosen family" of friends who are beyond description.
I have people in my life who I love deeply.
I have people in my life who love ME, and all my crazy at times.
Today may be one of the first Valentine's Days where I have truly seen the glass not only half full but OVERFLOWING!!
I hope that you (whoever bothers to read this thing) have an Emily around you today. Someone so joyful about this day that you can't help but be reminded that it's not about couples, romance and the like but it's all about LOVE.

Tug O' War

As you probably can tell from earlier postings the reoccurring theme in my life at the moment is choices. Sooo many choices. I'm not complaining, I would rather sit in a life full of choices then to have no options. But what about when every choice seems reasonable, good even? How do you decide then?
That last question I'm not sure that I will ever have an answer to. I feel though like this is just one more way that the Lord is teaching me to listen and be obedient. It's easy to obey when you know one choice might harm you or someone else, have some kind of unwelcome outcome. We tend to pick the past of least resistance or more rewarding option in that case. But what about the times when there seems to be no negative? What then?
I have the opportunity in front of me to help some messed up and hurting kids, to serve the community in an awesome way. Something that my heart beats for. To dig a little deeper into what I want to be when I "grow up". But in the midst of all the tugging I'm finding that I'm not in that place right now, I'm not strong enough to help them right now, as much as I want to.
I also have the opportunity to be a part of an amazing life group, to grow some deeper roots, to support and be supported. To grow. To stretch. To prepare. To challenge and be challenged.
I've lived the life of saying "yes" to every opportunity.. it's not fun. So now what?
I'm relearning to listen, and retraining my heart to hear the true answer, not necessarily always the one I want.
I'm learning maybe for the first time to be confident in my choices, to hold them as mine and mine alone.
I'm learning to pick "one" before the rope tears in two and no matter which way I lean I end up on my butt.
So here it is, the final choice in this most recent tug o' war....
I choose community
I choose family
I choose accountability and support
I choose for a season to let this be about me, about being whole, healthy, and about meeting others where they are just as they have met me where I am.
I choose the challenge
And I choose to own my choices. To know they are the correct ones for this season because I have taken the time to ask, and wait for the response.