tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36124433916118070742024-03-13T00:06:50.157-07:00La Bella Vita"The Beautiful Life"Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-11054322542896642692011-03-25T11:37:00.000-07:002012-07-03T15:01:43.196-07:00It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlR5hhtPmkMj2GMcRM59sap581pc1XdVVxFYNrBhLubSs0sb37fiZqbW32tEc7fmyL9RtAdO5rb1lbDfXBvKWjpZm9pyA90g2BXBZzlxcAgNGf7mw9tVXw1ZhQRHd_T7J0pOlLhRdHkjMb/s1600/6a00e55188bf7a883401156ff49b03970b-800wi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlR5hhtPmkMj2GMcRM59sap581pc1XdVVxFYNrBhLubSs0sb37fiZqbW32tEc7fmyL9RtAdO5rb1lbDfXBvKWjpZm9pyA90g2BXBZzlxcAgNGf7mw9tVXw1ZhQRHd_T7J0pOlLhRdHkjMb/s200/6a00e55188bf7a883401156ff49b03970b-800wi.jpg" width="200" /></a>The weather has been nuts to say the least lately. Christmas time we were in the high 60's/70's and sunny, and here in the end of March we're COLD, rainy and some days snowy!!<br />
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With no other sound but the rain hitting hard against my window this morning I'm reminded that with the rain, no matter how cold, heavy, or anger inducing wet pant legs might be, there comes with it a promise of new life. That once the rain ceases there will be an abundance new trees, flowers, grass, warm sun giving life to everything around it. Without the preceding rain, the sun would be come a scorching, death ray!! (ok, in Redding it still feels that way at times..)<br />
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Anyhow, this morning started with jolt and an off kilter feeling, but as I reflect on the rain I am oddly encouraged by the promise it brings underneath its cloud. I guess the trick is, you have to want to see it. I'm incredibly thankful that for today, I do.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-72247216223813844712011-03-12T13:13:00.000-08:002011-03-12T13:13:03.849-08:00What day is it again?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMt5RD899QHhTMPW65WiTxBVgbUVCd5cLCfACzBuL754BKSgj1Dq5cARhMn1qoedcYMcvySY7BQ0kPS_QMOJgpez4YOOgK0nBiTFwTDIS3uTseZ7m6COPjYMBR5Z4HqNHDTDfP5RT5T5gT/s1600/Steve-Powers-A-Love-Letter-For-You-High-Five-6043-Market-Street.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMt5RD899QHhTMPW65WiTxBVgbUVCd5cLCfACzBuL754BKSgj1Dq5cARhMn1qoedcYMcvySY7BQ0kPS_QMOJgpez4YOOgK0nBiTFwTDIS3uTseZ7m6COPjYMBR5Z4HqNHDTDfP5RT5T5gT/s200/Steve-Powers-A-Love-Letter-For-You-High-Five-6043-Market-Street.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>Ever had one of those weeks where you're never really sure what day it is? Time is just something that flies by you every day at the speed of light? Monday feels like Tuesday, Tuesday feels like Wednesday, well you get the idea... This has been one of those weeks.<br />
It seems like everything this week was on hyper speed, everything but me. I feel like my week really began on Tuesday with my incredible life group. To say that there was some emotional bondage broken and freedom found would only be scratching the surface (explanation soon to follow). I still don't have all the words to accurately explain Tuesday night, but I can assure you it rocked my socks right off!<br />
Every Tuesday night we have "highs" and lows" from the week, I've been thinking about that a lot today, "what are my highs and lows"... This week feels like it's been full of ups and downs and loopty loops too, but the strange thing is that there is this underlying current of calm. I can't explain how grateful I am for that. <br />
As this week keeps clicking by with things to do, places to be and people to assist I am ever thankful deep in my heart that no matter the crap, the lies, the pure exhaustion that comes at me I know that I can tap into that calm current underlying it all and gain perspective.<br />
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Side note: I attribute some of my thoughts, breakthroughs, calm throughout the week to the people who were covering me in prayer. You know who you are, and if you happen across this post I just want to say thank you. This week has brought to light for me once again the amazing value of covering those we love in daily prayer.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-23415339237688057762011-02-14T15:55:00.000-08:002011-02-14T16:31:52.827-08:00Who'd have thought..<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgscdzrQWCOKWPN64BcNNXNm7hyphenhyphen8Fw_bID-Ekk2EQddG0mZ-Voh936LEgn2aLgRGHtmc_IjtjzU-kgYYRteuJSog-sZQh9Tfr-2NLZxrkkwDxS0nbmvOQ1WstlKLEhd_GEDRCal65U3xzg3/s1600/celebrate_love_large.gif"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 94px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgscdzrQWCOKWPN64BcNNXNm7hyphenhyphen8Fw_bID-Ekk2EQddG0mZ-Voh936LEgn2aLgRGHtmc_IjtjzU-kgYYRteuJSog-sZQh9Tfr-2NLZxrkkwDxS0nbmvOQ1WstlKLEhd_GEDRCal65U3xzg3/s200/celebrate_love_large.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573705289160905122" border="0" /></a><br />Valentine's Day... not always the most celebrated holiday among singletons. But this year my friend/roommate Emily has changed my view of this most lovely day.<br />Sure it may be raining, grey and gloomy outside, but today has been nothing short of a fantastic reminder of how much love I have in my life. Even the tree outside my window is a BRIGHT Valentine-y pink!<br />Today is Emily's favorite day of the year I'd dare say... She's been looking forward to it for weeks now. At first I questioned why exactly, I've never been a fan.. for years this has been a holiday that has served as a reminder of what some of us DON'T have.<br />This year however (I think that Emily is rubbing off on me..) has been different. I've been able to see this day as an opportunity to be thankful for all the love I have in my life. I have a great family, a kick ass sister who'd I'd be lost without (what an incredible friend, wife and mother she is!!), a brother in-law who is more brother than in-law, Shelby, who has been my fiercest defender, and a whole "chosen family" of friends who are beyond description.<br />I have people in my life who I love deeply.<br />I have people in my life who love ME, and all my crazy at times.<br />Today may be one of the first Valentine's Days where I have truly seen the glass not only half full but OVERFLOWING!!<br />I hope that you (whoever bothers to read this thing) have an Emily around you today. Someone so joyful about this day that you can't help but be reminded that it's not about couples, romance and the like but it's all about LOVE.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-60504574242654949112011-02-07T16:10:00.000-08:002011-02-07T16:56:32.159-08:00Tug O' War<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTncaDbH-eIVNUVIiwA_T9lVssNaRIrzwpbXyPuL5FQoSW5jEGNTZTJ9y66nPBQaPUn7mbeDuoiT_S_rt0z1HQGR9s7zMN5_Q6UdF_wq-yuEfE3K5A92MWXquGWo9fxvuQcdnSuMlwUQ2V/s1600/tug-of-war.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 232px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTncaDbH-eIVNUVIiwA_T9lVssNaRIrzwpbXyPuL5FQoSW5jEGNTZTJ9y66nPBQaPUn7mbeDuoiT_S_rt0z1HQGR9s7zMN5_Q6UdF_wq-yuEfE3K5A92MWXquGWo9fxvuQcdnSuMlwUQ2V/s200/tug-of-war.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5571115833172859842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As you probably can tell from earlier postings the reoccurring theme in my life at the moment is choices. Sooo many choices. I'm not complaining, I would rather sit in a life full of choices then to have no options. But what about when every choice seems reasonable, good even? How do you decide then?<br />That last question I'm not sure that I will ever have an answer to. I feel though like this is just one more way that the Lord is teaching me to listen and be obedient. It's easy to obey when you know one choice might harm you or someone else, have some kind of unwelcome outcome. We tend to pick the past of least resistance or more rewarding option in that case. But what about the times when there seems to be no negative? What then?<br />I have the opportunity in front of me to help some messed up and hurting kids, to serve the community in an awesome way. Something that my heart beats for. To dig a little deeper into what I want to be when I "grow up". But in the midst of all the tugging I'm finding that I'm not in that place right now, I'm not strong enough to help them right now, as much as I want to.<br />I also have the opportunity to be a part of an amazing life group, to grow some deeper roots, to support and be supported. To grow. To stretch. To prepare. To challenge and be challenged.<br />I've lived the life of saying "yes" to every opportunity.. it's not fun. So now what?<br />I'm relearning to listen, and retraining my heart to hear the true answer, not necessarily always the one I want.<br />I'm learning maybe for the first time to be confident in my choices, to hold them as mine and mine alone.<br />I'm learning to pick "one" before the rope tears in two and no matter which way I lean I end up on my butt.<br />So here it is, the final choice in this most recent tug o' war....<br />I choose community<br />I choose family<br />I choose accountability and support<br />I choose for a season to let this be about me, about being whole, healthy, and about meeting others where they are just as they have met me where I am.<br />I choose the challenge<br />And I choose to own my choices. To know they are the correct ones for this season because I have taken the time to ask, and wait for the response.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-71404269137038744512011-01-30T22:41:00.000-08:002011-01-30T23:06:22.569-08:00Moving tiles and Minding the Gap<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjewq2TKWwlcXv4z2OnZoA-qif8LZmmhhShNouZVjxv9Dir9qOqO_X3T562vzmIG_Vhliu9Q4ZbqXzm27JGVQDoHhTgwq_bS3k6o_WfZCPWTFraMK6RODK-bhBZwkWHbxoIrtwQ0MRumvxs/s1600/mind-the-gap.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 141px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjewq2TKWwlcXv4z2OnZoA-qif8LZmmhhShNouZVjxv9Dir9qOqO_X3T562vzmIG_Vhliu9Q4ZbqXzm27JGVQDoHhTgwq_bS3k6o_WfZCPWTFraMK6RODK-bhBZwkWHbxoIrtwQ0MRumvxs/s200/mind-the-gap.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5568239255708381266" border="0" /></a><br />Sometimes we are the friends who get to stand in the gap for the ones we love and care about. Who get to bring those who just can't, who don't have the strength to keep going back, who doubt, who are tired, weak and and in need, to bring them to the feet of Jesus.<br /><br />We hear that phrase a lot in the church, I'll stand in "the gap" for you. I've been the one standing in that gap before, for the ones I love. Carrying them at times when walking themselves seemed to be too daunting of a task. But today.. today it was different..<br /><br />Today I was the one who needed the lifting, the carrying across. Today I was the one in need, and today I was lovingly carried over that gap by people who love me.<br /><br />Now is not the time for details, but to simply say, be aware. Be "mindful of the gap" so to speak. you never know when you might be the one in need of carrying.<br /><br />I head to bed tonight thankful for today, thankful for the way the Lord puts the right people in the right place and exactly the right time. I'm thankful for those in my life that are obedient to the voice of the Lord. Thankful that I know I am championed, there is someone(s) in my gap for me. And ever increasingly thankful for the freedom that only the Lord can bring.<br /><br /><br /><br />Luke 5:18-20<br />"God had given Jesus the power to heal the sick, and some people came carrying a crippled man on a mat. They tried to take him inside the house and put him in front of Jesus. But because of the crowd, they could not get him to Jesus. So they went up on the roof, where they removed some tiles and let the mat down in the middle of the room. When Jesus saw how much faith they had, he said to the crippled man, "My friend, your sins are forgiven."Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-6500732641132646982011-01-28T09:49:00.000-08:002011-01-28T10:10:14.350-08:00Certain Courage... and more choices.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqUaeXrdLfp5PvLHWpLXLwEyaD8GJh_TWAuLsAfFGk8AUXiKhkmpcHxnIAkWiJ3qzYd-OQalM75AorD_vxI0vbvcqyjXrs2vI8IqPChWEUpj5PBdygnTqqu0LF74g-aYs5IcNGj-ej79Zh/s1600/courage.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 145px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqUaeXrdLfp5PvLHWpLXLwEyaD8GJh_TWAuLsAfFGk8AUXiKhkmpcHxnIAkWiJ3qzYd-OQalM75AorD_vxI0vbvcqyjXrs2vI8IqPChWEUpj5PBdygnTqqu0LF74g-aYs5IcNGj-ej79Zh/s200/courage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567299325829771394" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I've made another choice in the middle of my chaos this morning. I am choosing today to be certain, even in the midst of any uncertainty that may try to derail me.<br />Why do I stress, why do lamely attempt to solve all the problems and issues of life in one afternoon. Better yet who do I think that I am that I could possibly succeed at that feat!?<br /><br />Today I choose to step out of my own way, stop stepping on my own toes.<br />Today I will choose to be of good cheer<br />Today I will choose to remember I have nothing to conquer that hasn't already been conquered for me.<br />Today I will choose not to pick up the things of the past, but will let them be just that, the past.<br />Today I will choose to be confident in the things my heart knows to be true.<br /><br />"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have perfect peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer, take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted! For I have overcome the world. I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you."<br />John 16:33 (Amplified Bible)Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-77923331988332920432011-01-27T10:53:00.000-08:002011-01-27T11:18:44.018-08:00Dreams: Dia De Los Muertos.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3BivUSs30kixofrH4yYR5dUpzq-t9ETS_mchXeOnNtCc2cBAVtnk3xNOfkrQdx0-JHgA88EiMOKYggdyjS9TwW9ejAIMGI-RVOrlvYWb2gQL1Jdya7wvEtteUxdLfn-pIt-A6d4A3WkBx/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3BivUSs30kixofrH4yYR5dUpzq-t9ETS_mchXeOnNtCc2cBAVtnk3xNOfkrQdx0-JHgA88EiMOKYggdyjS9TwW9ejAIMGI-RVOrlvYWb2gQL1Jdya7wvEtteUxdLfn-pIt-A6d4A3WkBx/s200/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566947216746463954" border="0" /></a><br />Sometimes I have the craziest dreams. Seems that they come and go in chains. There will be months when they are many, and vivid, most often strange to say the least.<br />I try to write them down soon after so I don't forget, so this is the latest....<br /><br />I was in a tattoo shop, there to get a tattoo.. obvious I 'spose. I had planned to get a small one, flowers, vines, pretty colors, super girly. The tattoo is finished and I look down and I have a FULL SLEEVE! My first thought is I'm so dead. My mom is going to flip out! Were talking FULL sleeve, down to my fingertips. A sleeve and a glove maybe?! ;)<br />I panic and the tattoo artist tells me that he took some artistic liberties to what he thought I wanted. Didn't think I'd mind. In place of my beautiful flowers he put a Sugar Skull... His response to my panic was "um, well you were sitting right here..."<br /><br />Random Fact about me: I like tattoos, really like them, but I don't like scary ones. Or anything remotely creepy. I'm hyper sensitive at times to imagery. Like we're talkin' the movie cases for scary movies in blockbuster can haunt my thoughts for weeks. I've often suggested to my sister that they need a "special area" for that crap. Lol.<br /><br />I was able to wipe off the ink that was on my hands so that now the tattoo ended at my wrist (yes I know that this is not the conventional way a tattoo works).<br />So I leave, tears streaming, angry, and disturbed by the image now forever on my my arm. Not only is this not what I had in my mind when I went in, it's HUGE!<br /><br />Things start to get disjointed at this point (as if they aren't already right?!). I walk out and see my mom, waiting for me to meet her for dinner. She stares at my arm and there's a recognition in her face of what the tattoo must mean, and then a panic. 100 questions about what was I thinking? Who did the tattoo? Where was he? Did I know his name? And did I know I'd never get hired for another job with a tattoo like that? (That comment seemed to be the most normal thing about this dream. I hope she reads this. :) ) She goes on to tell me that this image has been all over, that this was his "calling card" some kind of "message" sent. Whoever "he" was.<br />Somehow at this point I realize that he was the government traitor that has been on the run for the last year. Wanted all over the world. My next thought is "why is he in Redding of all places??"<br /><br />We turn and run back in the direction of the shop, that's now closed, lights out, no one there. I hear in the background the sound of a train leaving, and then in an instant I'm there at the train station, it's dark and the only thing there is a single rail car...<br /><br />And that's it. That's where it ended. Well at least where my alarm went off. Strange right?!<br /><br />Do you have crazy dreams? What are some of them?? Help me feel "normal". LOL.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-38338948688271615142011-01-25T08:51:00.000-08:002011-01-25T09:02:14.891-08:00Today I Choose..<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi19LL7YuY62uV8JUeNQcTsVSSCw4WSfkfU9jaNTVDwmsPAYGpZdUnmZDQxLD2Fr96HvwOSPx_n0YG9lE-yo1FTohzHi6-ErLiK7U3YCHqqm1WG1C45BhGsxhr7hxtAPpgodjMwihV5sEud/s1600/choices-760701.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 170px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi19LL7YuY62uV8JUeNQcTsVSSCw4WSfkfU9jaNTVDwmsPAYGpZdUnmZDQxLD2Fr96HvwOSPx_n0YG9lE-yo1FTohzHi6-ErLiK7U3YCHqqm1WG1C45BhGsxhr7hxtAPpgodjMwihV5sEud/s200/choices-760701.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566169511737047682" border="0" /></a><br />Life is full of choices. Lots of them actually. My first thought this morning,... well ok my thought right after, seriously alarm clock "SHUT UP!"... was "Today I choose.." and it stopped there while I got up to start the morning routine, wash face, brush teeth, blah blah blah...<br />Somewhere in between ironing my pants, and putting on my shoes I decided that today I choose:<br /><br />To take responsibility for myself<br />To be thankful for the blessed life I lead<br />To find something great in every person I pass today<br /><br />So there it is, seemingly so simple... my thought for today. Amazing how empowering making choices can be!<br />So what are some of yours?Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-71280218061675091912011-01-24T13:31:00.000-08:002011-01-24T14:12:57.344-08:00Rain.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsUjsdZ4N7jjkYHn3aUJ3aUR9TiGs2cz5U0nFD6rq29e3MIf6cwDhv1Gf5c1S0e69sNlWM4sn8QUr1hucSTaTaKEx5iJa2-STPcZ3LFC5lSpHAL5d1bRoCmXg1zHMpnv2kS_aS4f7ObGuo/s1600/Rain.png"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 154px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsUjsdZ4N7jjkYHn3aUJ3aUR9TiGs2cz5U0nFD6rq29e3MIf6cwDhv1Gf5c1S0e69sNlWM4sn8QUr1hucSTaTaKEx5iJa2-STPcZ3LFC5lSpHAL5d1bRoCmXg1zHMpnv2kS_aS4f7ObGuo/s200/Rain.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565877807636986370" border="0" /></a><br />"I am empty but I know your love does not run dry"... Just lyrics from a song... But for me, for today they are so much more.<br />I am empty, and in such need for the truths that I know are out there. The ones that I know are just as real and tangible as the trees just outside. I'm loved. I'm beautiful. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.<br />This current season I'm in feels more like the coming of a storm then a "season". The calm is gone, and I can feel in my heart the whipping of the winds swirling around me. The sting of the rain being blown in my face. Every once in a while tho I am lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the perfect blue sky that in my heart of hearts I know still exists beyond the threats of this stupid storm. And each time I do I have an almost eery sense of peace, something in my heart that tells me, "Even though you feel insane, you KNOW the truth, peace is coming, has come, is already with you, even now"<br /><br />A dear friend left me with this, "When life is sweet say thank you and celebrate, when life is bitter say thank you and grow"... So I guess that's what this is, this is me, saying "thank you" in advance, for where this season is taking me, and for who I will be at the end of it. And thank you to the ones in my life who will walk with me through it with patience and love. The very thought of you, who you are in my life humbles me. It will most likely push me, kick me, toss me around but I will make the choice to cling to the truths I know, to the blue sky I know that lies beyond this unexplicable mess.<br /><br />To anyone in this boat along with me, I say this to you as much as I do to myself, you're not alone in it. You're loved. You're beautiful. You're wanted. You have purpose.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-73691393566551633452010-11-18T11:52:00.000-08:002010-11-18T12:02:07.526-08:00#7 Laughter<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSGeHWswdxxmUcWBPYRwEE651E8F9o29_z8jObH3-55dt92R-N8BzCmI77h-nUzaxJSyjSU6DIDbJxyuzVTyaCWCj-ZjW1BeitYT_AfyHtPID4kexCIQHavE3CV2zYsGgTUJaR6TvGC4rL/s1600/61621_1600034042702_1291560037_1666135_4340252_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSGeHWswdxxmUcWBPYRwEE651E8F9o29_z8jObH3-55dt92R-N8BzCmI77h-nUzaxJSyjSU6DIDbJxyuzVTyaCWCj-ZjW1BeitYT_AfyHtPID4kexCIQHavE3CV2zYsGgTUJaR6TvGC4rL/s200/61621_1600034042702_1291560037_1666135_4340252_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540982020313846642" /></a><br />I love to laugh!! Like really love it. So I consider myself blessed to be surrounded by HILARIOUS people! As as matter of fact I live with two of the funniest people I know.<br />So today I am thankful that I live at Comedy Central, with the "Debate Team". Even if sometimes I am sure that blood will be drawn, it always ends in laughter.<br />Shelby, Emily, thanks for keeping me laughing. Love you both, and am blessed to have you in my life.<br />Sooo, today is your day, I'm thankful for YOU!Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-3135270199227262412010-11-18T11:41:00.000-08:002010-11-18T11:50:36.254-08:00#6 Notes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir3M2dPzYlzIVA1mKtD_zJ98CrzmY5L5aNA8RIVbvjV3ITT5OWf9MuUq-UJz_ocsVAkCl9EW0c9C0ox8LA8lLMVdZtBONukpERI32QCoqmfBhh9pkAnxbTOAD7svQhLiOaVAh9R4qIruC2/s1600/39551_1672711419591_1291560037_1815213_6564266_n.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir3M2dPzYlzIVA1mKtD_zJ98CrzmY5L5aNA8RIVbvjV3ITT5OWf9MuUq-UJz_ocsVAkCl9EW0c9C0ox8LA8lLMVdZtBONukpERI32QCoqmfBhh9pkAnxbTOAD7svQhLiOaVAh9R4qIruC2/s200/39551_1672711419591_1291560037_1815213_6564266_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5540979519997382786" /></a><br />What can I say... I would dare to say that "Words of affirmation" might be one of my love languages. ;)<br />I love getting notes, especially when they are unexpected and from people who know me well.<br />So today, I am thankful for friends who love me, and who remind me that they do, and that they're there.<br />So simple, but so valuable to a heart like mine.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-25748188731811787912010-11-15T09:58:00.000-08:002010-11-15T10:11:07.777-08:00#5 Debit Card Monopoly<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx8U-RE2bWc_JtBfDMHkimrYss7WQH58qiMssz4i0B-JPDX7MvHTq-uxuoTLYzfiz-GXeux27RMIbgsoCTLqAiSLWTGBtXEqKf6DCy-F8tK8dS6_01FSLNLU4Bj0Au_Z7_WmnpyQxd3c8E/s1600/200800013894.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 402px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx8U-RE2bWc_JtBfDMHkimrYss7WQH58qiMssz4i0B-JPDX7MvHTq-uxuoTLYzfiz-GXeux27RMIbgsoCTLqAiSLWTGBtXEqKf6DCy-F8tK8dS6_01FSLNLU4Bj0Au_Z7_WmnpyQxd3c8E/s320/200800013894.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539840003188146274" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJCzxYjcIh1cgFMcCBgnokmGmSFRzM7HOmMvI5sk4iSyzQ0xJxmWQR7sgTuFvotwz3ZcHz5NExnEcJSVZnEsZKGxV-VelF5d58_pFBGq4WuRM4znaZCWPcUZLZUATR4GhRBhuugFMniVL/s1600/monopoly-electronicbankingedition-2.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJCzxYjcIh1cgFMcCBgnokmGmSFRzM7HOmMvI5sk4iSyzQ0xJxmWQR7sgTuFvotwz3ZcHz5NExnEcJSVZnEsZKGxV-VelF5d58_pFBGq4WuRM4znaZCWPcUZLZUATR4GhRBhuugFMniVL/s320/monopoly-electronicbankingedition-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539840005480418594" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Yes you read that correctly, one of the things I am thankful for is Debit Card Monopoly... If you are one of my frequent opponents, you already understand this post.. But for the rest of you, who have yet to experience Monopoly at it's best let me explain.<br />When it comes to games I usually lose, and lose bad. But it seems that I am a glutton for punishment in this area of my life because I still LOVE IT! I really like to play games, win or lose, doesn't matter much to me anymore. But what I love is the snarky comments flying back and forth around the table, the laughter and the sheer FUN that happens while participating in a nail biting round of DC Monopoly especially.<br />Never again in your life will you see my family and close friends become so cut throat and ruthless as they do in this game. (Ok, that's a lie, Ticket to Ride and Nertz get a little crazy too)<br />For me I am thankful that these ridiculous games have begun to make themselves a tradition. So if you are ever so lucky to be around when we have the games out, prepare to be DESTROYED!!! ....most li<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgDMqKs-N-MehOcW8MJEqYa72OHwmD6EdXAr7Ko_zz53RSyXCMVXZSCEpIKt7u8Z2k2oec0a98yo5B69oRE2CvVzQ2AScVHdtKAOWknZbebJSES_6tigo64lVHqDQ9tJ-qXqCZ1rKfCgTs/s1600/monopoly-man.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgDMqKs-N-MehOcW8MJEqYa72OHwmD6EdXAr7Ko_zz53RSyXCMVXZSCEpIKt7u8Z2k2oec0a98yo5B69oRE2CvVzQ2AScVHdtKAOWknZbebJSES_6tigo64lVHqDQ9tJ-qXqCZ1rKfCgTs/s320/monopoly-man.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539839990866377890" border="0" /></a>kely not by me... ;)Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-24882189571900941332010-11-15T09:42:00.000-08:002010-11-15T09:52:32.616-08:00#4 Fall<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizKNipUPlIRS9C8GICHoNvjAQMCS_ilV5fxM29lR1ALQkMDSIfP5D0xOAmxNhPGxx99MulbOn1_yWIxZl4uZQmSUUAUtzQb4C6NqkAMJ2wCsCAwlvaVYbYJy8BItU1qD6xJwKCkFrQwchj/s1600/fall-road.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 217px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizKNipUPlIRS9C8GICHoNvjAQMCS_ilV5fxM29lR1ALQkMDSIfP5D0xOAmxNhPGxx99MulbOn1_yWIxZl4uZQmSUUAUtzQb4C6NqkAMJ2wCsCAwlvaVYbYJy8BItU1qD6xJwKCkFrQwchj/s320/fall-road.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539835661605619714" /></a><br />I love fall, all the changing colors in the trees. The cool crisp air in the morning. In Redding we don't see a whole lot of Fall and it's many attributes that I am so thankful for. But I spent the weekend back at my parents place where Fall is in full swing. The trees are all gorgeous shades of red, gold, orange and green. It's so chilly outside that sweatshirts and jeans are a must. <br />I wish we saw more of fall here at home, but I am thankful for the beautiful season I have been able to enjoy so far. There's something about the changing leaves that reminds me once again how small I am in comparison to my Heavenly Father and all his Glory.<br />So for today I will let the ONE tree I can see changing color outside my office window serve as my reminder to be ever thankful during not just this season, but throughout my life.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-51603964332451970272010-11-08T19:34:00.000-08:002010-11-08T19:44:41.642-08:00#3 The Parentals<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLRhAO72nG2PiGW9af_LVEFvOh_4UO9eYG0XQs2hXpNu3m3giHy20ACWKYRX_BHbB1-fZBDDat934SbWZXADPqr_rASrSzSr1j3QR3BxCvRwd5KZPF2rFIKhoM3r27gg6djYwN0ZE0j-Ye/s1600/22668_1349015847404_1291560037_1017663_3622260_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLRhAO72nG2PiGW9af_LVEFvOh_4UO9eYG0XQs2hXpNu3m3giHy20ACWKYRX_BHbB1-fZBDDat934SbWZXADPqr_rASrSzSr1j3QR3BxCvRwd5KZPF2rFIKhoM3r27gg6djYwN0ZE0j-Ye/s320/22668_1349015847404_1291560037_1017663_3622260_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537389977414417586" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJizNMLw3KMe2qc4BF_PZc20qKRUjhLMjho7-_yK_BIq5vpNVeYsZC9xW_SBT_fNFummV6tEru_XHRDb4hyVP_zCFQx8ikwoEUOBfYJmy2t34BqcmSrCrFYMrdYEGRH0jdD-fVB8m0et0Z/s1600/13039_1280667538739_1291560037_828791_5643194_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJizNMLw3KMe2qc4BF_PZc20qKRUjhLMjho7-_yK_BIq5vpNVeYsZC9xW_SBT_fNFummV6tEru_XHRDb4hyVP_zCFQx8ikwoEUOBfYJmy2t34BqcmSrCrFYMrdYEGRH0jdD-fVB8m0et0Z/s320/13039_1280667538739_1291560037_828791_5643194_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537389960595781522" border="0" /></a><br />Without these two people I would not be the well adjusted, slightly off kilter person that I am today... They've always been there to challenge me, push me, and encourage me to do whatever my little heart desires. No matter how I may feel at times like I fail, they are there to tell me that I have already succeeded.<br />Thanks Mom and Dad, without you I wouldn't be me!!Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-32754749890383472652010-11-08T19:10:00.000-08:002010-11-08T19:44:10.340-08:00#2 Judah Michael & Zoe Nikole<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg80YK9MSsc_WHKznIOlkOzeQlfByzioPve_m-bn8ifRtm3aqogmY3fAw02yPt6kswUQMI5yWI57pK2JsMXppNd1MowGovYsUPT_Od1ncfXxrVF-TR1bZwFxFkbXdzYCgaKxPnu1gxk9Kmb/s1600/7216_1263210139671_1212265597_30779672_3271408_n.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg80YK9MSsc_WHKznIOlkOzeQlfByzioPve_m-bn8ifRtm3aqogmY3fAw02yPt6kswUQMI5yWI57pK2JsMXppNd1MowGovYsUPT_Od1ncfXxrVF-TR1bZwFxFkbXdzYCgaKxPnu1gxk9Kmb/s320/7216_1263210139671_1212265597_30779672_3271408_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537390636957652754" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjib2fQQ4XCCXQ852EpLRPUk3oSwkZevlrRlAh6oVjrRgg6ZIWGkSWs4oZAtumOPSc0p8tdRkYOSURkCwPa5sp4mwzCj8LTWTcJq_WLx8pyTsM_ipyQyHyWXPc-L-jUS5jDD39zWmn_W2YR/s1600/6572_1181749665854_1291560037_513977_2814306_n.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjib2fQQ4XCCXQ852EpLRPUk3oSwkZevlrRlAh6oVjrRgg6ZIWGkSWs4oZAtumOPSc0p8tdRkYOSURkCwPa5sp4mwzCj8LTWTcJq_WLx8pyTsM_ipyQyHyWXPc-L-jUS5jDD39zWmn_W2YR/s320/6572_1181749665854_1291560037_513977_2814306_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537390636072387106" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzQzq_Y-jSRvKsqbTvNVVydTjAMFytysyoprzzf2L-fjU4wSkYzARQPrAgsdLUvt9OxxtWw3HsGT3d3TPRO_3aXybq5B3uqVrxdkTDb3PcVLZKkjNjm48QomrZ5DK55Pw4xfH8pP-dDGbX/s1600/29466_390903966529_631181529_3996975_5626270_n.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzQzq_Y-jSRvKsqbTvNVVydTjAMFytysyoprzzf2L-fjU4wSkYzARQPrAgsdLUvt9OxxtWw3HsGT3d3TPRO_3aXybq5B3uqVrxdkTDb3PcVLZKkjNjm48QomrZ5DK55Pw4xfH8pP-dDGbX/s320/29466_390903966529_631181529_3996975_5626270_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537390631841294578" /></a><br /><br />I am so thankful for these two munchkins it's indescribable. I never imagined that I could love anyone this much, let alone TWO people! These are the funniest, sweetest, most loving kids ever, and how lucky I am that I get to be their Aunt!!Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-63558676159063227682010-11-08T18:59:00.000-08:002010-11-08T19:33:59.727-08:00Challenge Accepted!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV0z4ttTZqN3HzUx16_0vNIl73ir67RpMDrFa6HuuWLO-uk-I5LBlCULMTWxfvBkoiCTfe834I-K2_pXhlYCVB8wv2Bu9AOe8Ll9M0F0ZcDWk7ivoxEkgN2havCMg0SkGuA7ueSieMMnCw/s1600/35320_414773567491_504762491_4480266_4260625_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV0z4ttTZqN3HzUx16_0vNIl73ir67RpMDrFa6HuuWLO-uk-I5LBlCULMTWxfvBkoiCTfe834I-K2_pXhlYCVB8wv2Bu9AOe8Ll9M0F0ZcDWk7ivoxEkgN2havCMg0SkGuA7ueSieMMnCw/s320/35320_414773567491_504762491_4480266_4260625_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537388018528243458" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYOVtgQPMB-TtalMAk_L2JWFCL1LyykxW5gCoXZs8UzD89OBR6lMWWOOTLTVu7qUlsRc8yOrEvvHMe1QKplPBU3TrPADwhe_BkRWzaIPyWCxD9TPLybkKQtS_EgyN9sCtTGzUtzDF_7tDV/s1600/33988_405948383930_583913930_4541637_5749110_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYOVtgQPMB-TtalMAk_L2JWFCL1LyykxW5gCoXZs8UzD89OBR6lMWWOOTLTVu7qUlsRc8yOrEvvHMe1QKplPBU3TrPADwhe_BkRWzaIPyWCxD9TPLybkKQtS_EgyN9sCtTGzUtzDF_7tDV/s320/33988_405948383930_583913930_4541637_5749110_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537388010397386770" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPByHtQNCs2MsOdVAZQZek5A6E6bGJiYcfLcNIIL9znBezCk7ILtcG6dMtaJyyHSpIjQr3xpUjhF3PC-1NosiiiNTdAh4-gr67Sx59EOQU2ZCWqmdyV1-s3DJyR4j5B0TBOx2MyseVwhqn/s1600/13454_740986779506_11522955_41453315_7735018_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPByHtQNCs2MsOdVAZQZek5A6E6bGJiYcfLcNIIL9znBezCk7ILtcG6dMtaJyyHSpIjQr3xpUjhF3PC-1NosiiiNTdAh4-gr67Sx59EOQU2ZCWqmdyV1-s3DJyR4j5B0TBOx2MyseVwhqn/s320/13454_740986779506_11522955_41453315_7735018_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537388009344895490" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY5m8k_rv9VpEp1KJ3pimJvlnjqpJDyitPxoj5zME0wGqmWpS73B_-tO5B-p0bTsq64k6zKfDIKpy91rQ4l8J1CXddhaOJB76xPbLuQfquSLUNCSNdg-_Sh7mxV1MFo0-nxA9PrGJqEy0t/s1600/66955_1529189004152_1667543843_1275645_4591184_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY5m8k_rv9VpEp1KJ3pimJvlnjqpJDyitPxoj5zME0wGqmWpS73B_-tO5B-p0bTsq64k6zKfDIKpy91rQ4l8J1CXddhaOJB76xPbLuQfquSLUNCSNdg-_Sh7mxV1MFo0-nxA9PrGJqEy0t/s320/66955_1529189004152_1667543843_1275645_4591184_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537388006211351554" border="0" /></a><br />It's been a while since I've blogged... I'm doing my best to bring it back! Recently my dear friend Emily posed this challenge, to list each day for the month of November something that I am thankful for in remembrance of the Thanksgiving holiday. Reading through her posts today I was inspired and challenged to take the time to participate in this positive act of daily giving thanks.<br />Sooo here I am to start, 8 days late mind you (and I have been informed that putting all 8 in one blog is cheating..).<br /><br />#1 I am thankful for my amazing friends:<br /><br />I am truly spoiled, I have some of the world's most fantastic friends. I've heard before that you get two families in life, the one you're born into and then the one you get to choose. Not to brag, but my chosen family is the bees knees!!<br />Need comic relief? They've got it! Need a shoulder to cry on? They're there, no question. Need to be challenged? Be careful what you ask for... they'll be first in line.<br />So there you have it, for my first act of giving thanks I am thankful for you my chosen family!!Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-24603843933124713612009-10-26T12:03:00.000-07:002009-10-26T12:47:58.536-07:00In the hand of King Kong<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-6C7HLhagsLYQIC6AILYj2ufZ_bIh-nWTKxYF_crOmYZflBZQx395J7L6JhLwtrqB5Ey1QoHTF8MDF1CgTJ4qmYuDcM6UkWTQ7scG7_ic-3H1OlbDPbRGxsKhQ_qwLY1K28bnJ935VCbP/s1600-h/Kong.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-6C7HLhagsLYQIC6AILYj2ufZ_bIh-nWTKxYF_crOmYZflBZQx395J7L6JhLwtrqB5Ey1QoHTF8MDF1CgTJ4qmYuDcM6UkWTQ7scG7_ic-3H1OlbDPbRGxsKhQ_qwLY1K28bnJ935VCbP/s320/Kong.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5396997283554708114" border="0" /></a><br />The message from Travis last night was amazing, and so needed for the Stirring family I think. I for one appreciated the fresh look at singleness and married-ness. One is not better or more than the other, and both are to be valued and sooo needed. I loved the emphasis on playing the “hand” that the Lord has given us each day. Being faithful in whatever season that we are currently in and using it to the best of our ability to serve and expand the Kingdom of the amazing God we love.<br />There were a couple of big “take home moments” for me last night, one was being challenged to live each day I am given to its absolute capacity. Am I doing that now, in my relationships, in my action? I am not willing to sit and live in the waiting room of life, for life to finally start. It already has, I am in it, and I love every second of it. Thank you Travis for the encouragement to all of us in our various stages of life!<br />The second and most vivid thing I took away from last night was a picture that I saw during worship second service. The repeating word for the second service seemed to be one of trust. Trust that the Lord knows what he’s doing, knows the desire of you heart and is working you towards something that will blow your mind when you finally see it, but no longer live in the “not yet” live in the right now. Live in the right now with fervent passion, not with an attitude of defeat, or longing for what will be. But this word of trust brought about this picture for me…<br />If you have ever seen the movie King Kong (the newer one, Jack Black and Naomi Watts) you’ll remember this scene, if not you need to watch it and remember this image… King Kong has just defended Ann Darrow from three huge T-Rex dinosaurs, he’s battered, tired and grumpy, rightfully so. The next shot is of Kong sitting tired on this huge cliff and Ann standing back from him, still unsure of how safe she ought to feel with this beast. They watch each other for a while, careful not to let one catch the other looking. Finally Kong, lays his massive hand on the ground, palm up and looks away from her, she sits a while longer before deciding she can trust this massive creature that just fought to save her and climbs up into his gigantic open waiting hand, Kong glances back with a warm look as she curls up in this palm to rest. She rests peaceful, calm and knowing that while in this other worldly jungle she is without doubt safe in his hand.<br />As the night went on, this picture changed for me from the large furry hand of Kong to the hand of God, and from Naomi Watts as Ann Darrow to me as the leading lady in my own story. In a fantastic way, I was confirmed that I do rest in the palm of a huge, powerful, sometime terrifying, but oh so loving Lord who has only my best interest in mind. He has over time in my life protected me from the various forms of T-Rex that I have faced, sometimes even unknowingly. He is the protector of my heart, my life, of all that I am and who I will continue to become. So I woke today and walked out my door to face what would normally be “just another manic Monday” knowing, and fully owning the confidence that I sit today in the palm of an almighty Lord in whom I can place all of my trust and have nothing to fear.<br />So whether it be relationship, leadership, work, life in general… I give my all, every fiber of my heart, the core of who I am and I say do with it as you see fit, I trust you.Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-46789003503385923602009-09-22T13:48:00.000-07:002009-09-22T13:51:10.500-07:00Lucky<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cnhelsel%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link 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{mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">I am one lucky girl I have decided… I have been sitting here looking at the photos in my frames at all the places I’ve been, incredible people I’ve met and awesome things I have been blessed to see and do… </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Years ago I spent some significant time as a Mission Builder with YWAM in Hawaii.<span style=""> </span>A time in my life that forever marked me, changed me and I truly believe was a turning point for me.<span style=""> </span>Because of the people I met, the things I witnessed and experienced…</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Lately I have been missing that, tremendously… Sometimes I think, should I have gone back, completed a DTS and gone on to who knows where?<span style=""> </span>Those thoughts lately have shifted to thinking, I wonder if it’s too late?<span style=""> </span>I mean for sure I would need to bust my tail and take care of student loans, consumer debt and all that fun “life” stuff before I really considered it, but I can’t help but think, daydream really about going back into a program like that.<span style=""> </span>I miss the people that come from all over the world for one purpose…To know Jesus and make Him known, the promise of travel, the idea of travelling light and being ready to go wherever you are led to next.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is this inner struggle in me that says “Do IT!”, and then the other more reasonable side that knows how terribly I would miss my family and my friends… Truly this is nothing more than a thought, a wistful dream if you will, of what might be or could have been.<span style=""> </span>I know that I am right where I am supposed to be, and I am happy to be here in this place.<span style=""> </span>Near my sister,<span style=""> </span>niece and nephew, part of one of the most incredible communities ever and the stirring, all of it just comes together time after time to reconfirm that the Lord has brought me to this place, and I will stay set until he says other wise. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Recently a great friend of mine shared with me her desire to lead a Summer team to Amsterdam to minister to the women of the Red Light district.<span style=""> </span>When she told me about her plan my heart started to pound with excitement!!<span style=""> </span>I can’t wait to see where the Lord is going to take her on this journey and I already feel so lucky that I get to walk along with her as she goes after the burden on her heart.<span style=""> </span>Stay tuned for news from Amsterdam…. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Lord is moving, what he is up to I am not quite sure yet, but he is stirring something about in me personally.<span style=""> </span>Bringing back to light old dreams, new dreams, words spoken over or shared with me.<span style=""> </span>That being said I am excited, nervous, but excited…</p> Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-80779181510439886482009-08-26T17:27:00.000-07:002009-09-22T13:40:47.934-07:00...there is no "off" switch....<span style="font-family:georgia;">As I continue to grow in my relationship with the Lord and settle further into who he has created me to be I come to some conclusions at a speed that often feels like crashing into a wall when I finally "get it". Well, at least to the best of my ability anyway.<br />I'm a feeler... there I said it... what others feel I feel, I can't fully explain how or why this happens it just is a part of who I am, and I am learning to embrace this fact.<br />There are so many positives to being someone who feels deeply, I love deeply, however on the flip side of that coin is the fact that I hurt deeply as well. So I find myself asking at times where do I find the balance?<br />I don't wish or want to change this attribute that the Lord has placed in my heart, yet at the same time I do get the advice of friends and loved ones that I need to not take so much on my heart from others around me. But here's my dilemma... there's no off switch... there is no easy formula for me that says when your life collides with mine at any given point in life I can "choose" to not let my heart get involved...<br />Empathy by definition is </span><span style="font-family:Arial;">"to identify with another's feelings. It is to emotionally put yourself in the place of another. The ability to empathize is directly dependent on your ability to feel your own feelings and identify them."<br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">And in having personal relationship with the Lord comes the compassion component here too, which just mixes it all up.. "</span></span>More vigorous than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy" title="Empathy">empathy</a>, Compassion is the feeling that commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering"<span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">That's where I trip myself I think.. in the mixing of compassion and empathy together, but can one exist without the other? <br />I know that somewhere in this mix there must be, not an off switch but a balance... I am determined now more than ever to find it....<br /></span><br /></span>Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-26002968912442916382009-08-17T17:19:00.000-07:002009-08-17T17:48:20.275-07:00Coffee, transformers and princess dresses...<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Two weeks ago I started in a new position out at Simpson in Financial Aid, today my sister, mom, Judah and Zoe came to see me and my new office. Yep I have an office!! With a door! ...It doesn't take much to make me happy. Judah comes in with his transformers, full with sounds effects and everything and pauses briefly to say... "this is a small office..." Thanks dude, way to burst Kiki's bubble... :) Ah, the honesty of a five year old, gotta love it. Zoe on the other hand completely decked in her princess garb, embraces my love for my office a little more readily, wanting to play on the computer, spin in my chair and drink my coffee... future CEO I think...<br />As she tips my coffee, officially christening my desk she starts to cry, and there are muffled "sorry Kiki, sorry Mama's" hiccuped throughout I can't help but laugh... No biggie, whats coffee on a couple papers. Though ok truth be told I was in such desperation for that sweet nectar of the Dutch Bro gods that licking the paper did run through my mind...<br />Anyway, I was thinking about that later this afternoon, and the whole idea of "don't cry over spilt milk"... why sit and soak in the things that you can do nothing about? I know in the past I have been master of not letting go. Beating every decsion made, every word spoken and every mistake to a bloody pulp. Thank you Lord that I have been released from that. What an exhausting way to live. What's done is done, all you can do is clean it up to the best of your ability and move on. No sense dwelling on it.<br />Funny cause it's in this moment now that I will choose to even further release a few things from my mind, heart and life... the coffee has been spilt, no need to cry.. just wipe it up and get on with the day.<br />Judah did have his moment in my office tho when he spotted a picture of the two if us and leaned in for a closer look and said "awwwww...". Man I love that boy. Not sure that anyone will ever top my list like he does. I hope that someday he will look back and have memories of playing with me, talking with me and just livin life and will want to find a girl that is a combo of his momma and his "Kiki".<br />I wrote him a letter the day he was born, someday he'll read it, I haven't thought about it again until today actually.... I am sad to watch him grow up and not be a baby anymore but man, oh man I can't wait to see the lady killer he is going to be. Not to mention the man of incredible honor and faith he will be as a reflection of his Dad.<br />Anyway, that's all random thoughts for the day... I love my family, would be ablsolutley lost without them!!<br />Thanks for coming by guys! You made a Monday a lil' less "monday-ish"<br /></span>Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-11899308092999656282009-08-17T17:08:00.000-07:002009-08-17T17:18:13.185-07:00So many, yet so few...<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">In talking with a friend last night I was struck yet again by how many amazing, passionate, fire-filled women and I know, and how few men there are that match them... Why is this? Are we hanging out in the wrong places?<br />I should probably stop there first though and acknowledge that I do know some great men, a small handful that are teaching me about what a man who loves and walks with Jesus looks like. Little do they know that I am taking notes as I witness how they walk though life, and will be indebted to them for the lessons they teach me (someday I will need to thank each one of them)... they have each been such an encouragement to my life, to my heart that they do exist, out there somewhere each of these incredible women I know will be found by her elusive equally amazing counterpart.<br />I guess, its just that I want to encourage all of my girls that have expressed frustration in the waiting, to those that have bought in to lies that they aren't worthy... I want to encourage you all that you ARE. You are priceless gems that are prizes to be won and you will be cherished beyond measure just as you should. So don't settle... Hold out. Believe me I know that the waiting suuuuucks... but you're not alone, and it will all come in good time.<br />Blessings and peace to each of you and your deeply loving hearts.<br /></span>Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-61076705913368964482009-07-10T15:57:00.000-07:002009-07-11T11:52:51.523-07:00...truly it is the sweetest thing... Part OneI am sitting in my room attempting to finally begin to really unpack the last eight months or so of my life... As, I sit here I am kept company by Goose awkwardly curled up on my shins and Kristene Mueller via my nano, this is a stolen moment for me, and long overdue I will admit... but I swear she has been watching me..<br />For quite sometime now the word over my life has been obedience... yea I know, awesome right... I didn't think so at first, my first thoughts were "that's not good.." when I think of obedience initially I think of when your parents used to tell you "you better listen and obey" usually in the context of being just about to get in trouble.. Which, ok I still think is true now and then but I have come to know that you have to also have trust in order to Obey.<br />I am sitting in this place of asking the Lord every other day or so "you SURE you know what you're doing right???" It's a good thing that the Lord has a sense of humor with me and isn't at all put out at my nagging questions of "what are we doing?", "when are we going to get there", "how is that gonna work".. When we were kids and would be on trips with our parents we used to ask the "how much longer..." only to have Dad reply by holding up two fingers... as I grew I realized that this was the "symbol" for "too much longer.." Sometimes I think that the Lord does something similar with me when I can't just sit and wait long enough for him to begin to tell me what we're moving towards.<br />In the last 8 months or so he has shifted a ton in my life, he has truly began to knock away some sharp corners of my heart, and truly change who I am in my very core. All along the way there having been marking moments where I have been able to clearly see that these are moments that the Lord is causing a change, marking that area of my life as different so that I never forget what he's done. Does that make sense?<br />It's like, if you've ever played the Wii fit you know that at the end of ever time you play you get to put a big stamp on the day you just finished... The Lord is holding one BIG 'OL stamp over certain areas of my life at the moment.<br />Ah, my brain is spinning in circles... ok this is why you shouldn't wait too long to sit and think stuff out, talk to the Lord and just be. There is so much to get out that I don't know where to begin.<br />Where do I start, do I start with my new found joy and freedom, do I start with the trial, heartache and sacrifice to took to get there, or with the current rocky terrain that I am walking in?<br />Months ago I was asked to be a part of a leadership life group, I lovingly blame that group of friends for the massive change in who I am. I am so indebted to each one of them...<br />Throughout our time together we gained so much knowledge, felt so much love, and saw the Lord move in BIG and small ways in our leaders. Going over the spiritual disciplines, placing myself in a place to be challenge like never before, and finally truly accepting that challenge I have come out on the other side a different girl.<br />Our final night together Matt, Kendall and Derrick gave each of us communion, prayer and an annointing as they felt led. That night as I sat there and watched them begin to move their way through the group my thoughts flew back and forth from serious to distracted (like..."I wonder if annointing oil will give all of us a holy zit...") And then to asking the Lord, what is it that you will anoint me for I wonder... In that moment he spoke to my heart, said I'm calling you out, no more sitting and "needing to "learn" more, before you get up and get moving, no, this is it" (don't get me wrong I am FOREVER in a state of learning) and then clearly in my mind and heart he told me "ears and lips" that was it "ears and lips"... Ok, I had watched these guys anointing people and never was it anything that strange. Feet, hands, mind, heart those things I understood but ears and lips...?<br />That night after communion Matt prayed over me and wouldn't you know it... that's what the Lord had put on his heart to anoint me for... it was pretty crazy. we laughed, we cried.. it was awesome! After that the three of them said that the felt that this was the night the I was being called out, there were those words again, burning into my heart as Derrick said them "Tonight you're being called out"... time to join my leaders... such a humbling moment... I will never in my life forget that feeling. They had asked me to stay and pray for the rest of the group with them, it was such an honor...<br />And, that was the jumping off point for me, the no return moment, where I felt the old chains that had been rusted on to my heart, my life, my mind for so long break and fall off for good... Please dont hear in this that I got to this sweet sweet moment without and trouble... trust me when I tell you, He tried me, tested me, and then did it again to be sure I was ready. There was heart hurts, sacrifice, and humbling to be done before I could whole heartedly accept the change he was bringing about that night.<br /><br />...To be con't...<br /><br /><br /><br />It's the sweetest thing<br />to trust you<br />just to know<br />You got everything under control<br /><br />it's the sweetest thing<br />to trust you<br />just to know<br />You got everything<br /><br />and You are making me a mountain<br />making me a mountain<br />that cannot be shaken<br /><br />well You are making me a mountain<br />making me a mountain<br />that cannot be moved<br /><br />high up on a rock<br />looking out at the horizon<br />watching as the storm rolls in<br />wondering if my heart will survive it<br /><br />as the waves crash all around me<br />and can't remember what it feels like to be free<br /><br />i know You're making me a mountain<br />making me a mountain<br />that cannot be shaken<br /><br />oh You are making me a mountain<br />making me a mountain<br />that cannot be moved<br /><br />You say, I've got you my baby<br />I've got you<br />it's quite the mess you're in<br />but it's nothing Love can't fix<br /><br />so sit here upon my shoulders<br />and watch as it all unwinds<br /><br />You are making me a mountain<br />making me a mountain<br />that cannot be shaken<br /><br />i know You're making me a mountain<br />making me a mountain<br />that cannot be movedNikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-55631632408546435572009-06-20T23:36:00.000-07:002009-06-20T23:39:10.395-07:00I am a reprieved felon and I have an anchor tattoo...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ok</span>, so maybe I am being a little mellow dramatic, and I am not really a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">felon</span> and my tough anchor tattoo will wash off in the shower... But, I have been remiss on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">writing</span> the craziness of life lately. So, if you choose feel free to dive into my scattered randomness...<br /><br />All Rise:<br />...For the honorable Judge <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Dolloard</span>... I'm a crazy driver.. there I admitted it. I can be easily distracted and then do some not so smart things... For instance, not coming to a full and complete stop before turning right at a red light...<br />I'll spare the gory details and leave it at this... I got a friendly letter from the CA supreme court, complete with my photo and everything! I was tagged by one of those red light cameras at the stoplight on the way to church of all places!! I had to laugh when I got and figured it was a lesson learned that I will now have to pay for. Being the responsible adult I am I was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ok</span> with this consequence. Until... while I was waiting for one of my girls to meet with me before we began the When God Dreams conference (which I was on staff for...) I went to check the mail.. bad move. This is precisely why I NEVER check the mail. If I don't see the bills and hate mail then they don't really exist right?? Anyway, awaiting me was a NEON pink letter stamped in bold black print "FAILURE TO APPEAR; NOTICE OF SUSPENSION".<br />I don't need to tell you that I almost pooped my pants at the sight of those words. I thought for sure there was a mistake, I had just <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">received</span> my ticket and had until June 22<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">nd</span> to clear it all up. Surely this was meant for someone else...<br />When I called to tell the courthouse that they had the wrong girl I felt like someone kicked me in the neck... As it happens, I had two prior tickets for the exact same violation in the exact same place (all on Sundays mind you) that I didn't know about. They had both gone to an old address.<br />So buckets of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">panicked</span> tears and a whole slew of "my sister is a wanted criminal" jokes later I went to court. First time, and hope to be the last time that I have ever been to court.. didn't know what to expect, but was so incredibly thankful that I had a judge who found humor in my stupidity and gave me grace. The total of my offences.. right around 1600.00 until the judge gave me mercy and dismissed the first two tickets and the failure to appear (which PS is a misdemeanor <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">in case</span> you were wondering..), significantly lowering my fees.<br />So, all this to say that I have learned my lesson about California rolling stops... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">DONT</span> DO IT! So, the next time I am 5 min late to the Stirring <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">ya'll</span> know why, I am coming to a FULL and COMPLETE stop...<br /><br />Dream session:<br /> About a week ago I had an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">impromptu</span> talk with a good friend that quickly morphed itself into two plus hours of dreaming, planning and excitement. We got to talking about <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">involvement</span> in the Stirring and how she wanted to, and was ready to jump in and get involved. Which in and of itself is exciting to me because I know that she has so much strength, wisdom and experience to offer I can't wait to watch her start to walk it out again. I have looked up to her and her leadership with young women, not to mention have been sharpened by her challenges and encouragement in the past few months. It's funny sometimes how the Lord works.... I think that the he has brought our friendship together for a time such as this. Both of our hearts pound for single women. There is such a gap between singles in the church and the rest of the body sometimes. I know it's not intentional, it just seems to be there. Ministries are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">classically</span> geared towards students, young marrieds, families, parents, engaged. etc but there is a large population of people who are sitting in the in between. Not a student, not a married or parent.. so where do these people go? Specifically, where do these women go? I have talked this through with friends before and looked for someone to not only catch the vision and see the need but be willing to partner in being a part of the solution. I think this is where we are being brought to together.<br />Single women deal with a whole other mess of questions, concerns, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">struggles</span>, joys, and significant need for community that all too often goes unmet. It is my heart to close the gap. To provide a safe place to struggle, laugh, cry, pray build friendship and then to connect us all to the other women in the church, because no matter what we have a great deal to learn from these amazing women that are running on a different path at the moment. Even just writing this out I get exciting thinking about what it could all look like, the need that could be met. A place where there is nothing wrong with being single and there is a pursuit of peace rather than contentment. I am not doing the idea justice here...<br />So for now it's in a state of prayer, what will it look like, how will we get it started? Is there a big enough need, and interest?<br />Any ideas, or feedback???Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-26079048750937674952009-06-08T20:14:00.000-07:002009-06-08T23:26:52.929-07:00When it counts...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6RmFFNEUc1B_vVHQZ01NbQU2Rj9dL5AG4j2sr5Sq5doozBsvI1fxhUqSE0FbitoFY1Tdw86aK1pU4cfcSF7LMrcUF5PiXWfKXyZpIsrXwFhgHrzgV2Mt8o8HfaPlybTZu0pbecvu7w_Q/s1600-h/MGI+PhotoSuite+4+Wallpaper.BMP"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345210459571118962" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv6RmFFNEUc1B_vVHQZ01NbQU2Rj9dL5AG4j2sr5Sq5doozBsvI1fxhUqSE0FbitoFY1Tdw86aK1pU4cfcSF7LMrcUF5PiXWfKXyZpIsrXwFhgHrzgV2Mt8o8HfaPlybTZu0pbecvu7w_Q/s320/MGI+PhotoSuite+4+Wallpaper.BMP" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:georgia;">A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are.<br />Have you ever heard quotes like this one regarding friendship before, or like the country song "Find out who your friends are" by Tracy Lawrence? It's times like these that I feel like I begin to really understand what's being said behind he lyrics...<br />Have you ever had one of those days when your heart aches, for a million different little reasons along with some big ones and all you really want is for the people who know you best, who love you, to wrap you in a big ol' hug and ask you if everythings ok... Have you ever craved being able to answer that question honestly and say no, knowing that you had the time and the support with you to break down and begin to face it all one piece at a time with someone safe?<br />Oh, man I know that feeling these last couple weeks, sometimes there is nothing lonelier than being left alone in your own head...<br />So... though I never thought I would use this as a platform for which to let go of my thoughts, hurts, and angst, I am today... Cause I know that the ones that will even bother to look at this are people who love me and would be that bear hug if they could.<br />My grandma is sick, like really sick... She has been knocked down by surgeries and such before but this time it's different, there is a huge unknown that says this could end badly. I love my grandma, I have great memories of her. She has always been a huge part of my life, helped to raise me into who I am today. I remember going grocery shopping with her in her HUGE Chevy Malibu and singing "to market, to market to buy a fat pig, home again, home again jiggity jig" while we pulled back into the driveway, or that I used to love staying at her house so much I got in trouble and HAD to come home for at least one night during the week. She has always been a great Yahtzee competitor and truly a cheerleader of everything I have ever tried to do. So I am stuck with conflicting emotions over what is happening to her now. Ultimately it comes down to wanting whats best for her, and my need to admit that I have no clue what that might be, it truly is in the Lords hands.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">That is the main part of the mountain I feel like I am climbing at the moment, there are other things strewn along the way in there that aren't helping matters but... but, what really? I don't know... </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">It's nights like tonight when I realized how lucky I am, how blessed my life is... Even in the midst of chaotic emotions for me I have some of the greatest friends and family. </span><br />Thank the Lord for my sister, I don't know what I would do without her, I tend to fall apart from time to time and without her I know I would be up a creek.<br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">But tonight the Lord reminded me that I have some amazing friends in my life, people who read through my "I'm doin' ok's" and call me on my crap. I was faced tonight with my friend Mack reminding me that I always tell my girls "it's ok to not be ok" yet somehow I don't afford myself that luxury more often than not... Since when did I become a "do as I say not as I do kind of leader and friend? That's crap... Mack, if you ever even read this, thank you for coming over and listening to me process, I needed the company and I needed to talk more than I think I knew. Jamie, thank you for the note tonight, I needed that. Sarah, please come home!!! Thanks for the text friend and I'll be seeing you wednesday.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">So, there it is I guess... I am admitting it... I am not ok... I know I will be, and I know I will shake this grey feeling, but thank you friends who are loving me through it while I sort through all this.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span></div>Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3612443391611807074.post-35801483390181976692009-05-18T14:36:00.000-07:002009-06-08T23:18:06.253-07:00It's true... I am a VIP!! (this one is late... .I know... and there is so much more to the story I will have to add later..)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcItDiAc-9PgcUrERq7DzL1SpeqU1gz5dRBZ0rrgGrnX9acLbbTXMlthHq3B1zV1ah9IuIyH7-zc9tnhP-0nSyKtzpCWMEIi9gOxxebfkD6ZdbuybVaaU8NG2AU8Udd_4IcZtpq0GIpjQS/s1600-h/rodeo12.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345208242834747170" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcItDiAc-9PgcUrERq7DzL1SpeqU1gz5dRBZ0rrgGrnX9acLbbTXMlthHq3B1zV1ah9IuIyH7-zc9tnhP-0nSyKtzpCWMEIi9gOxxebfkD6ZdbuybVaaU8NG2AU8Udd_4IcZtpq0GIpjQS/s320/rodeo12.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0K3gGjo8uCFyv20KjQ6MDnQr6EWorjx-RK3oWbORkNU8eou6R_48W8uRnIAzscwf2lpOLMWJu0Qp8btgNixHAh1CVbjz_B5JBvQiwcgP03nkm1Ke4C2pBZBRRQ0L80JR92l2oYKK9sHk/s1600-h/rodeo10.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345208245132885794" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0K3gGjo8uCFyv20KjQ6MDnQr6EWorjx-RK3oWbORkNU8eou6R_48W8uRnIAzscwf2lpOLMWJu0Qp8btgNixHAh1CVbjz_B5JBvQiwcgP03nkm1Ke4C2pBZBRRQ0L80JR92l2oYKK9sHk/s320/rodeo10.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg02xmV2g8-Zp_PD_YWTblMzVflb2es02MG07aGHaKk3PF9MzyDq45QtCOl85Q7KVQXHPwvd8E4pe2zCDh-UVWwauaVSGaTIG3tYg1S3aaAEN3jONgdDFNeNUDCR_SW1BgbZ-PxanEuRLVa/s1600-h/rodeo8.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345208245180003746" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg02xmV2g8-Zp_PD_YWTblMzVflb2es02MG07aGHaKk3PF9MzyDq45QtCOl85Q7KVQXHPwvd8E4pe2zCDh-UVWwauaVSGaTIG3tYg1S3aaAEN3jONgdDFNeNUDCR_SW1BgbZ-PxanEuRLVa/s320/rodeo8.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div>Yep I am a VIP... at least in the Rodeo world I am... ok, ok, and I that I am a VIP in the Redding and Red Bluff Rodeos....<br />This last weekend was AMAZING and so what I needed. I have been swimming in my own thoughts for weeks, which can both be good and bad. Either way though I was in need of a good laugh.<br />I love rodeo, everything about it really. I know some of my friends won't agree and will even say that had an awful time this weekend... But, I am always so happy during rodeo season!! The horses, the music, the cowboys... There is just something about the energy of the crowd, and the fact that for Redding in particular it is a week long community event. Love love love it!<br />That being said, this year may have just been the best one yet. The final night of the rodeo (yes, I went all three nights... thank you Beck!)my good friend Becky and I were leaving the rodeo grounds after an already awesome night, of 90 point rides, Flirty camera men, and some of the best people watching EVER! Oh my word some of the outfits these girls wear... "even cowgirls can tramp it up" was one sentiment that I heard over the weekend... it's funny to watch these girls throw themselves at the rodeo talent and announcers... Here's the funny thing.. who got into the VIP room and had dinner with the big wigs??? YUP, me and Becky!!<br />It was some of the most fun I have had in a long time! Becky introduced me to Wayne and Will, who she had met the year before, I left a voicemail for my big crush "Crash" (he's a rodeo clown), and cinched the deal on some VIP treatment at both rodeos next year!! Oh man I can't wait!</div></div></div>Nikole Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04745883593159989744noreply@blogger.com0