Rain.

"I am empty but I know your love does not run dry"... Just lyrics from a song... But for me, for today they are so much more.
I am empty, and in such need for the truths that I know are out there. The ones that I know are just as real and tangible as the trees just outside. I'm loved. I'm beautiful. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.
This current season I'm in feels more like the coming of a storm then a "season". The calm is gone, and I can feel in my heart the whipping of the winds swirling around me. The sting of the rain being blown in my face. Every once in a while tho I am lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the perfect blue sky that in my heart of hearts I know still exists beyond the threats of this stupid storm. And each time I do I have an almost eery sense of peace, something in my heart that tells me, "Even though you feel insane, you KNOW the truth, peace is coming, has come, is already with you, even now"

A dear friend left me with this, "When life is sweet say thank you and celebrate, when life is bitter say thank you and grow"... So I guess that's what this is, this is me, saying "thank you" in advance, for where this season is taking me, and for who I will be at the end of it. And thank you to the ones in my life who will walk with me through it with patience and love. The very thought of you, who you are in my life humbles me. It will most likely push me, kick me, toss me around but I will make the choice to cling to the truths I know, to the blue sky I know that lies beyond this unexplicable mess.

To anyone in this boat along with me, I say this to you as much as I do to myself, you're not alone in it. You're loved. You're beautiful. You're wanted. You have purpose.